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The Big word “Heartbreak”, is almost everyone’s worst nightmare, as it should be. The physical and psychological effects of losing someone you care so much about. In fact, according to a 2011 study by Eisenberger et al, it states that heartbreak isn’t just an emotional experience, but it has real physical consequences. So if you are currently navigating this inevitable human experience and you have been asking yourself, “How do I get over heartbreak”, or “How do I stop the ache in my chest”.
Firstly I am sorry you are currently going through this, no one should ever have to experience this but like I said, it is inevitable. Secondly, I promise that you will feel better by the end of this post, I am not saying this is a quick fix, but you will definitely feel lighter, So, stick with me.
What Does Heartbreak Feel Like?
Heartbreak is a deeply emotional experience that can feel like a physical pain in the chest, often accompanied by feelings of sadness, despair, and loss. It can lead to a decrease in appetite, difficulty sleeping, and a lack of motivation or interest in activities. Heartbreak can also cause anxiety, depression, and even physical symptoms like headaches, nausea, and dizziness. It can feel like a sense of emptiness or a void that is difficult to fill and can make it hard to focus on anything else.
12 Tips To Get Over Heartbreak?
1. Allow Yourself Grieve
Firstly when we experience heartbreak, our brain finds a way to temporarily take the pain away, we are out there looking for a quick fix, to find something to occupy our minds with. As tempting as that is, it is nothing but a quick fix. Allow yourself to grieve might seem counterproductive but trust me, for someone who has suffered numerous heartbreaks I wonder how my heart is still in 1 piece (lol). Allow yourself to cry, allow yourself grief. Cry if you need to, scream into a pillow, or write in a journal—whatever helps you express and process your feelings, they are all part of the healing process.
2. Lean on Your Support System
Surround yourself with people who love and understand you, people who listen to you without judgment. Alternatively, you can also consider speaking to a therapist, thanks to technology, you can do this right from the comfort of your home. Platforms such as BetterHelp, Talkspace, 7 Cups, and many others.
3. Practice Selfcare
Selfcare = Selflove, there is no better way to heal your mind, body, and soul than to shower yourself with so much love and affection. Romanticize your life, go on solo dates, Love yourself because no one can do it better than you!
4. Forgive Yourself
Forgiveness is a powerful tool for healing, both for yourself and others involved. While it may be difficult to forgive those who have hurt you, holding onto resentment and anger will only prolong your suffering. This doesn’t mean condoning or excusing their actions but rather releasing yourself from the burden of negative emotions. Remember that forgiveness is a process and may take time, but it’s a vital step towards letting go and moving forward with your life.
5. Give Yourself Time
Just like the old saying “time heals all wounds”. I know right now it might be difficult to believe, it takes a lot to be emotionally invested in someone, and the possibility that living life without them might seem a little bit difficult to grasp right now. But trust me when I say “It gets better with time”. It is also important to note that “Healing from heartbreak is not a linear process, and there’s no set timeline for getting over it”. Be patient with yourself and allow yourself the time and space you need to heal fully.
6. Focus on Personal Growth
Use this period of heartbreak as an opportunity for self-reflection and personal growth. Take stock of your strengths, weaknesses, and values. Consider what you’ve learned from the relationship or situation that ended and how you can apply those lessons moving forward. Set goals for yourself, whether they’re related to your career, hobbies, or personal development, and take small steps each day to work towards them. Cultivating a sense of purpose and direction can help you regain a sense of control and empowerment in your life.
7. Practice Mindfulness
Mindfulness techniques, such as meditation and deep breathing exercises, can help you stay grounded and present in the moment, reducing stress and anxiety. Add mindfulness to your daily routine to cultivate a sense of peace and acceptance amidst the turmoil of heartbreak.
8. Set Boundaries
It’s important to establish boundaries with your ex-partner or anyone else involved in the situation to protect your emotional well-being. This may involve limiting contact, unfollowing them on social media, or refraining from discussing the breakup with mutual friends. Prioritize your own needs and boundaries as you navigate through this challenging time.
9. Volunteer or Give Back
Channel your energy into helping others by volunteering for a cause you care about or performing random acts of kindness. Shifting your focus outward can provide a sense of purpose and fulfillment while reminding you of the positive impact you can have on the world, even during your pain.
10. Create a Vision Board
Visualize your hopes, dreams, and aspirations for the future by creating a vision board. Gather images, quotes, and affirmations that inspire you and reflect the life you envision for yourself beyond heartbreak. Display your vision board in a prominent place where you can see it daily, serving as a reminder of the bright possibilities that lie ahead.
11. Do things that Give You Joy
Find activities that make you feel good inside. It could be listening to music, cooking a nice meal, or writing in a diary. Doing something that brings you joy is important. I love music a lot, and it always makes me happy. Even though listening to songs about love and happy endings might seem strange when you’re heartbroken, music can still make you feel better. So, don’t hesitate to listen to your favorite tunes—they can help you feel better.
Here is a nice YouTube playlist, check it out and let me know what you think in the comment section.
12. Practice Gratitude
Even amid heartbreak, there are still things to be grateful for in your life. Take time each day to reflect on the blessings, big or small, that surround you. This could be the support of loved ones, moments of laughter, or even the beauty of nature. Cultivating a gratitude practice can shift your focus from what you’ve lost to what you still have, fostering a sense of positivity and resilience during difficult times.
Why is Heartbreak So Painful?
Heartbreak is a deeply painful and distressing experience that can feel all-encompassing and overwhelming. Whether it’s the end of a romantic relationship, the loss of a friendship, or the betrayal of trust, the emotional pain of heartbreak can be intense and debilitating. Understanding why heartbreak is so painful requires examining the psychological, biological, and social factors that contribute to this profound emotional experience.
1. Attachment and Loss
At the core of heartbreak is the disruption of attachment bonds, which are formed through close relationships with others. When we become emotionally attached to someone, we develop a sense of security, belonging, and intimacy in their presence. The loss of that attachment through breakup, betrayal, or abandonment triggers a profound sense of grief and longing, as we mourn the loss of connection and intimacy with the person we cared about.
2. Psychological Rejection
Heartbreak often involves feelings of rejection, whether real or perceived. Rejection activates the same neural pathways in the brain associated with physical pain, leading to feelings of hurt, humiliation, and diminished self-worth. The psychological impact of rejection can be particularly devastating, as it challenges our fundamental need for acceptance, belonging, and love.
3. Loss of Identity and Future Plans
In addition to the loss of the relationship itself, heartbreak can also entail the loss of identity and plans associated with that relationship. When we invest time, energy, and emotional resources into a relationship, we may intertwine our sense of self with our partner’s, envisioning a shared future together. The dissolution of the relationship forces us to confront the loss of that envisioned future, along with the uncertainty and upheaval it brings.
4. Rumination and Intrusive Thoughts
Following a breakup or betrayal, our minds often become flooded with intrusive thoughts and memories related to the relationship. This phenomenon, known as rumination, involves repeatedly dwelling on past events, analyzing what went wrong, and imagining alternative scenarios. Rumination prolongs the emotional pain of heartbreak by keeping us stuck in a cycle of negative thinking and self-blame, preventing us from fully moving on.
5. Social Support and Validation
Humans are inherently social beings, and our relationships with others play a crucial role in our emotional well-being. When we experience heartbreak, the loss of social support and validation from our partner can exacerbate feelings of loneliness, isolation, and despair. Receiving understanding, empathy, and validation from friends, family, or a therapist can help mitigate the pain of heartbreak and facilitate the healing process.
How long does it take to get over heartbreak?
The time it takes to get over heartbreak varies from person to person and can depend on the circumstances of the breakup. It is important to allow yourself time to grieve and process your emotions. According to Verywell Mind, “Every person and relationship is different, and dealing with heartbreak is not the same process for everyone or every time. Permit yourself to take the time you need.”
The Bottomline
In conclusion, I want you to know that you are not alone, it is not your fault. So give yourself time to heal, Love yourself, and work on being a better version of yourself.
FAQ’s
How do you get over a break up fast?
Getting over a break up fast is not always possible or healthy. It is important to allow yourself time to process your emotions and grieve the loss of the relationship. According to Verywell Mind, “Resist the urge to isolate yourself. Sadness, guilt, confusion, and other intense feelings can be overwhelming. Reach out to the people who care about you.
How do I stop feeling heartbroken?
To stop feeling heartbroken, it is important to take care of yourself physically, emotionally, and mentally. This can include reaching out to supportive friends and family, engaging in self-care activities, and seeking professional help if needed.
Should I tell my ex I still love her?
Who moves on faster after a breakup?
There’s no one-size-fits-all answer. Both partners may move on at different paces depending on factors like emotional attachment, coping mechanisms, and support systems. Some may seem to move on quickly but may still be processing emotions internally.
