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How to Start A Conversation With A Girl – and Keep It Going

So there’s a girl you like! You know you should make a move and go talk to her. But for some reason, whenever she walks past, your brain seems to be in frenzy and you don’t know what to say. No, you’re not shy. You just can’t speak coherently whenever she’s standing in front of you. Worse, the only thing your brain can come up with are topics about the weather, holidays, work… Bleh, a bunch of boring topics, which roll over into a boring conversation! Does this sound anything like you? Then you’re probably wondering how to start a conversation with a girl and not just end it there, but keep the conversation going.

It All Comes Down to the Process

You’ve probably had it up to neck level letting those brain-freeze moments steal perfect chances to start a conversation with this girl that you like. And you’re worried if you don’t do something about it, you might as well stay single for the rest of your life. Fret not, I come bearing good news!

Right now, all you need is to grab a bowl of popcorn and a glass of wine maybe and enjoy this dive into solving this nerve-racking problem. Let’s go!

Don’t Hey and Pray

Nearly every lady has had it with the “heys”, “hi’s” and “hellos” that almost never result in a meaningful conversation. Worse, these have gravitated from texts to presenting themselves in real-life conversations too. By all means, don’t add to this list. Don’t just send a boring “hey!” at every chance you get to talk to her, praying for the best. Astonishingly boring “hi’s” and “what’s up?” are no longer allowed. These kill the conversation before it even has an opportunity to start.

You’ll be doing yourself a big deal throwing these out of your mind. Instead replace them with open-ended conversation starters, particularly on things that interest her. If you both have a common interest, that’s an edge. Leverage it!

Be Yourself, Devoid of Any Pressure

The girl you like is a person too you know. Drop off the pressure and have a conversation with her like you would with anyone else. Try not to be anxious or stressed when approaching a girl you want to talk to. You’ll be surprised by the crazy things we do when you’re anxious or nervous.

Here’s a pro tip: Girls like guys who fan out confidence, who exhibit authority and a subtle sense of control.

Related: How To NOT Be A Boring Partner

Anxiety won’t do you any good in fanning out confidence. So no pressure, relax! You’re conversing with a fellow person.

Don’t Be Too Eager to Impress

Girls have that x-ray eye that allows them to sense when you’re trying so hard to impress them. For some girls, this could be a turn-off. Plus being too eager to impress can make you mess up the beautiful thing you were already building. In your quest to impress this girl, you might just come off a tad bit creepy sometimes. So again, no pressure, relax!

Another pro tip: When you’re less worried about impressing this girl, you’ll be less anxious, giving more room for your confidence to fan out!

Don’t ‘Filter’ Your Thoughts

Allow her to see you for you. Don’t create a false image about yourself simply because you want to win her over. It can be very tempting to want to jump into filtering mode: to shut out any thoughts that you don’t think are ‘appropriate’ or ‘impressive’. But really, saying all of those goofy and quirky things shows that you’re all the more human, and this is what allows the real connection to take place.

You might think saying those things that you define as inappropriate/unimpressive/stupid would make her “not like you anymore”. If that is the case, it’s very likely that she probably never really liked you.

So go on and express your deepest, rawest thoughts in the most unfiltered form. After all, you want to be someone you can be free with anyway.

Ask her about herself

Is she a beer person or she prefers tea (or coffee)? Does she enjoy camping or prefer visiting museums? Why is she interested in the things she’s interested in?

Asking her questions that really spark her interest is a great way to keep the conversation going. this way, you wouldn’t just have a series of yes or nos, but an actual conversation. you may not know it but this is all part of the bonding.

Ask her questions with a genuine desire to want to know more about her (and not in a manner that she feels interrogated).

Random conversations can be fun

After the first few conversations with the girl that you like, you can ease things up a bit and go random! Be spontaneous! Talk about a colorful bird you saw earlier in the day or about certain countries on your travel list or anything else.

You don’t need to ask her about her long-term goals or where she sees herself in the next five years to get to know her better. Sometimes, you can learn a great deal through those random conversations. These can lead to inside jokes too you know.

Parting Thoughts

There you have it. These no-pressure conversation starter tips will help you get those conversations going and sweep that girl you’ve always liked off her feet. No more sweaty palms or brain freeze!