Tips For Handling Arguments In Relationships
“How do I handle arguments in my relationship?” This is one question a lot of people in relationships have caught themselves asking. Some couples see arguments as an opportunity to throw their hands in the air and bail out on the relationship. But when properly leveraged on, arguments could be a vital tool in building a stronger connection in relationships. Instead of feeling frustrated, read on to learn practical ways on how to handle arguments in your relationships.
Before Shit Got Real…
Remember when you first met your partner, the exciting feeling and multitude of butterflies flying around in your tummy? Remember how you couldn’t imagine spending your life with anyone else but them? You hang on to each other like you would both evaporate if either of you dared to let go. You get swept off your feet every time you look into their eyes until you don’t get any of those feelings anymore.
Few months down the road, after the heat and adrenaline fade, you’re left wondering where all the spark went. The person you once drooled over is the same person you can’t stand being in the same room with. You both begin to disagree all the time and argue over literally everything, even small things. And then you’re left wondering if you made a mistake choosing them. You’re left wondering if you counted your eggs before they hatched.
Do Arguments Always Signal A Red Flag In Relationships?
It is important we bring to our consciousness that in every relationship, arguments are inevitable. But if properly leveraged on, could become one of the building blocks for a lasting relationship. Relationships have a reputation of bringing two different people with different psychological narratives together. Our psychological narratives form the core of our very beings. It is only normal for people with different psychological narratives to experience a clash in opinions.
If properly harnessed, you’ll find that arguments help you see deeper layers of your partner that they could not have been able to share with you consciously with words. This consequently builds a more formidable connection between you and your partner. So long you are not in a toxic relationship, arguments could be to your advantage.
Arguments, however, do not automatically give us those sweet results if left to rage like wildfire. Below are practical techniques on how to handle arguments in relationships in order to sap out the most you can from it.
How To Handle Arguments In Your Relationships
Find Out What The Problem is
The first step towards solving any problem really is to clearly define what this problem is. When you find that you disagree with your spouse, take time out to pinpoint what exactly the source of the argument is, clarify the reasons for the arguments, and you’ll find that you’ve just begun your journey towards handling that argument. Ensuring you have a proper understanding of the source of any disagreement would prevent blind arguments and pointing fingers. This saves up a whole lot of physical and mental energy.
Effectively Communicate Your Expectations
Most of the time, a communication breach could be a contributing factor to arguments in relationships. Communication has always been known to be very pivotal in handling disagreements in relationships of all forms. Talking things through with your partner, properly communicating your expectations from your partner could help in handling arguments that may arise. This may require you to be let your guards down and be completely vulnerable, just go all out and help your partner see the argument from your narrative.
Admit When You’re Wrong
Because of the human ego, it is very easy for us to load up all of the blame on someone else and out rightly seek to justify ourselves, as though we were never wrong in any way. One tip that could really help in handling an argument is the ability to accept your wrong if you’re wrong. Instead of pointing fingers, be willing to admit that you too could have contributed to the problem at hand (maybe unconsciously) and owning your mistakes if any. In doing this, it would help to use more “I” statements than “you” statements.
Every successful relationship comes with a level of acceptance. It’s really about owning the fact that the two parties involved are from two entirely different backgrounds with two different psychological narratives as a result, conflicts of interest are bound to occur.
Before throwing the cards in on a relationship, it always helps to at the very least, do your part in resolving the disagreements at hand, except the relationship is toxic.
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