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16 Best Funny Marriage Advice For NewlyWeds

Finding Humor in Commitment, The Funniest (But Realest) Marriage Advice You'll Ever Get

by Lifestylemetro
January 10, 2024
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Best Funny Marriage Advice For Newlyweds: forget the dusty self-help books and let’s get real. This isn’t about boring lectures, it’s about “true but funny” marriage advice. We’re talking real-life situations sprinkled with a good dose of humor because a happy marriage knows how to laugh through (or maybe even because of) the occasional tear-jerking moment. Ready to lighten things up and learn with a smile? Buckle up, lovebirds, it’s going to be a wild ride!

Table of Contents

Toggle
    • #1 Funny Marriage Advice For Newlyweds – Million Dollar Truth.
    • #2 Funny Marriage Advice For Newlyweds – Learn The Art of Dishwashing
    • #3 Funny Marriage Advice For Newlyweds – Be The Bravest Bug Squasher
    • #4 Funny Marriage Advice For Newlyweds – Use Reverse Psychology
    • #5 Funny Marriage Advice For Newlyweds – You Are Allowed Only One Marriage
    • #6 Funny Marriage Advice For Newlyweds –  If She Says What?, Change Your Sentence
    • #7 Funny Marriage Advice For Newlyweds – Feed Each Other A Lot
    • #8 Funny Marriage Advice For Newlyweds – Challenge Your Spouse
    • #9 Funny Marriage Advice For Newlyweds – Laughter is the best medicine (and probably cheaper than therapy)
    • #10 Funny Marriage Advice For Newlyweds – Communication is key, but sometimes silence is golden (especially during a late-night grocery run in pajamas).
    • #11 Funny Marriage Advice For Newlyweds – Fight Naked
    • #12 Funny Marriage Advice For Newlyweds – Date nights are like magic potions for your relationship (minus the frog warts and lizard eyeballs).
    • #13 Funny Marriage Advice For Newlyweds – Embrace the weird. You’re both weirdos anyway (and that’s what makes you perfect).
    • #14 Funny Marriage Advice For Newlyweds – Remember, marriage is a marathon, not a sprint (so pace yourselves and maybe invest in some comfy running shoes)
    • #15 Funny Marriage Advice For Newlyweds – Consider placing a mini hamper wherever you spot their socks on the floor
    • #16 Funny Marriage Advice For Newlyweds – Buy An Extra Charger
  • Final Note
  • Marriage Advice for Newlyweds Speech
    • When giving a wedding speech, you can share words of wisdom for a successful marriage with the couple
    • Here are some tips for giving a wedding speech: 
    • Here’s a lighthearted and fun speech for guests to deliver to the newlyweds
    • (Raise your glasses!)
    • (Look at the bride and groom)
    • So, raise your glasses once more!
  • Frequently Asked Questions
    • What is the best advice for a married couple?
    • What is the best advice to give to a new bride?
    • How do you encourage a bride?
    • What is the best quote for wedding?

#1 Funny Marriage Advice For Newlyweds – Million Dollar Truth.

Wife is cute when she is mute and husband is honey when he gives money.

#2 Funny Marriage Advice For Newlyweds – Learn The Art of Dishwashing

funny-marriage-advice-for-newlyweds
Image Source – canva.com

The couple that cleans together stays together. Or at least avoids arguing about whose turn it is to do the dishes!

#3 Funny Marriage Advice For Newlyweds – Be The Bravest Bug Squasher

funny-marriage-advice-for-newlyweds
Image Source – canva.com

Bugs, spiders, creepy crawlies – these little intruders can make you her knight in shining armor. Conquer your fears and save the day!

#4 Funny Marriage Advice For Newlyweds – Use Reverse Psychology

funny-marriage-advice-for-newlyweds
Image Source – canva.com

“The best way to get most husbands to do something is to suggest that perhaps they’re too old to do it.”- Ann Bancroft. You can always use reverse psychology to get things done.

#5 Funny Marriage Advice For Newlyweds – You Are Allowed Only One Marriage

“Every man wants a beautiful, understanding, economic wife and a good cook. But the law allows only one wife” – This advice suggests that we cannot expect one woman to have it all. But men should learn to love their wives and realize how unique and wonderful they are.

#6 Funny Marriage Advice For Newlyweds –  If She Says What?, Change Your Sentence

Communication is a two-way street. Be flexible and adaptable to avoid unnecessary conflict. When a woman says what? she actually heard you but she wants you to change your words.

#7 Funny Marriage Advice For Newlyweds – Feed Each Other A Lot

funny-marriage-advice-for-newlyweds
Image Source – canva.com

It may seem foolish and even childish, but “food” can make up for anything. If you two fight over something, just feed each other and offer some food, chocolates, nachos, or mac with cheese!

Moreover, the more you eat, the less you’ll be able to talk. It might sound like just another funny wedding advice for the couple, but just do it and see the magic!

#8 Funny Marriage Advice For Newlyweds – Challenge Your Spouse

This, I believe, is the funniest wedding advice for the couple, which will come in handy a lot of times! If you want something done by your spouse, challenge them by saying that the particular task is beyond their skills.

This is one way of triggering an individual’s ego, and even though not wholeheartedly, they will get the task done. And that is what you wanted in the first place. Isn’t it?

#9 Funny Marriage Advice For Newlyweds – Laughter is the best medicine (and probably cheaper than therapy)

funny-marriage-advice-for-newlyweds
Image Source – canva.com

So next time your new spouse forgets to take out the trash (again!), don’t throw a fit. Launch into a dramatic reenactment of their epic laundry pile – you know, the one that rivals Mount Everest! A little silliness goes a long way.

#10 Funny Marriage Advice For Newlyweds – Communication is key, but sometimes silence is golden (especially during a late-night grocery run in pajamas).

Yes, talk things out, but don’t pressure yourselves to be chatty Cathys 24/7. A comfortable silence can be just as meaningful as a deep conversation, especially when you’re avoiding public pajama meltdowns.

#11 Funny Marriage Advice For Newlyweds – Fight Naked

When you argue, try taking off your clothes. It might make you laugh or do something else, but at least you’ll forget why you were fighting. We think it’s a funny but good advice for newlyweds. What do you think?

#12 Funny Marriage Advice For Newlyweds – Date nights are like magic potions for your relationship (minus the frog warts and lizard eyeballs).

Ditch the Netflix marathons and get dressed up! Even a picnic in the park or a board game night at home keeps the spark alive and reminds you that you’re more than just roommates with a shared subscription.

#13 Funny Marriage Advice For Newlyweds – Embrace the weird. You’re both weirdos anyway (and that’s what makes you perfect).

embrace-yourselves
Image Source – canva.com

Sock puppets? Pineapple on pizza? Celebrate your quirks! They’re what make you unique and hilarious, and they’ll provide endless entertainment for years to come.

#14 Funny Marriage Advice For Newlyweds – Remember, marriage is a marathon, not a sprint (so pace yourselves and maybe invest in some comfy running shoes)

There will be hills, but if you stick together, support each other, and keep a sense of humor, you’ll cross the finish line hand-in-hand, laughing (and maybe slightly sweaty).

#15 Funny Marriage Advice For Newlyweds – Consider placing a mini hamper wherever you spot their socks on the floor

mini-hamper
Image Source – canva.com

When you see their socks on the floor, you’ve got two options: ignore or pick them up. No third choice. Though it might feel naggy, resist the urge. Your spouse has a long time habit of sock-dropping.

#16 Funny Marriage Advice For Newlyweds – Buy An Extra Charger

extra charger for phone
Image Source – canva.com

Always power up your tech devices at all times and have a spare charger because once he borrows one charger from you, you may never see it again. Sounds funny but its a worthwhile investment.

Final Note

“I’ll wrap this up with a simple truth: marriage is a verb, not a sentence. Keep conjugating, compromising, and celebrating, and you’ll find yourselves writing a love story that everyone will want to read (except maybe your in-laws). Congratulations!

Marriage Advice for Newlyweds Speech

marriage advice for newly weds
Image Source – canva.com

When giving a wedding speech, you can share words of wisdom for a successful marriage with the couple

Some advice for newlyweds includes: 

  • Be your authentic self and let your partner be their true self
  • Be honest
  • Don’t ask for marriage advice from someone who dislikes your partner
  • Be understanding and show compassion
  • Learn the art of compromise
  • Set aside time to connect as often as possible
  • Don’t give up on each other
  • Treat each other with respect

Here are some tips for giving a wedding speech: 

  • Welcome and thank the guests
  • Thank the bridal party and family
  • Share a funny story or anecdote related to your wedding day
  • Introduce yourself
  • Make eye contact
  • Have notes to hand
  • Don’t drink too much
  • Start planning early
  • Make it personal
  • Have a beginning, middle, and end
  • Consider your audience

Here’s a lighthearted and fun speech for guests to deliver to the newlyweds

Toast to a happy couple
Image Source – canva.com

A Toast to the Happy Couple!

(Raise your glasses!)

To the radiant couple, the dazzling diamonds in the crown of this night! We gather here, hearts brimming with joy, to celebrate the union of two souls who, like perfectly matched puzzle pieces, have found their place in each other’s world.

(Look at the bride and groom)

Just look at them! The way they beam at each other, the shy touches, the laughter that dances in their eyes – it’s a testament to the magic that unfolds when two hearts beat as one.

But let’s be real, folks, marriage isn’t always rainbows and butterflies. There will be days when the laundry pile resembles Mount Everest, and nights when the only communication involves grunts and mumbled apologies for stepping on toes. (We’ve all been there!)

But here’s the secret sauce, the sprinkle of fairy dust that makes this adventure worthwhile: laughter, love, and a healthy dose of silliness. Remember, dear newlyweds, to never lose sight of the joy that brought you together.

When the dishes pile up and the to-do list seems endless, take a moment to dance in the kitchen like nobody’s watching. Rekindle the spark with a spontaneous picnic under the stars, or a pillow fight worthy of an epic movie montage.

Embrace the quirks that make you unique, because those quirks are the threads that weave the tapestry of your love story. Cherish the inside jokes, the goofy traditions, and the way you make each other laugh until your sides ache.

And remember, even when the road gets bumpy, hold on tight to each other. Be each other’s rock, your cheerleader, your partner in crime. With a little understanding, a lot of love, and a shared sense of humor, you can conquer any mountain, together.

So, raise your glasses once more!

To the happy couple, may your journey be filled with laughter, love, and happily ever afters, plural! May your socks always find their mates, your dishes magically clean themselves, and your love story continue to inspire us all.

Cheers!

Frequently Asked Questions

What is the best advice for a married couple?

First year tips
  • Spending time together is just as important as spending time apart.
  • Inspire each other to be better daily.
  • Always make time for each other.
  • Don’t take life so seriously.
  • Learn to pick your battles.
  • Create your own traditions.
  • Always say “I love you.”
  • Focus on being better, not being right.

What is the best advice to give to a new bride?

“Talk, talk, talk,” says Eagan. Communication about everything from small things, such as how you spent your day, to big things, such as how to spend your money, is vital to a healthy marriage. It helps you get to know each other better, resolve issues, and stay connected to your spouse.

How do you encourage a bride?

Have her over for a cup of coffee or tea, go get your nails done together, plan a girl’s night in with a good movie & snacks, do something together that is not wedding planning. Plan a time and space for her to be able to be, to leave the wedding planning at the door.

What is the best quote for wedding?

100 Inspirational Marriage Love Quotes for a Wedding - Parade
“A great marriage is not when the ‘perfect couple’ comes together. It is when an imperfect couple learns to enjoy their differences.”
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Tags: communication in marriagedishwashing togetherfeed yourselvesfunny marriage advice for newlywedslaughtermarriagemoneyreverse psychology
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